Running.

Running, past him, past her, past it, past the world, hard after Him. It is the only thing I can do right now, the only thing I want to do, the only thing I yearn to do. Spinning with my arms out, eyes to the heavens, smiling, laughing, enjoying His constant Presence. Taken to the back side of the mountain to be alone with Him, spend time with Him, get to know Him better, stumbling, falling, but clinging steadily, clutching, grabbing, reaching out, in earnest. Thought that I didn’t have much else to learn, thought I was arriving, seeing now that I am just beginning, just starting to see, long, long journey ahead of me. Getting glimpses of His beautiful glory, His Presence, His smell-one day. Falling every day more in love…with a man I have never seen, my Creator I have never met. Sweet comfort and peace amidst a storm, any storm. Have to give it time to heal, go through it, experience the raw emotions of it, let them come, don’t be afraid of them, embrace them, grab His hand and crawl through it. Reading Colossians 1 makes me tremble, long for Him. Being alone with Him, searching for His guidance, and in doing so, committing to it. Amazed everyday at His pursuit of me, so thankful for the insatiable hunger for Him that has never left me or been far from me. What is more important than Him? Can He ever be fully known? I hope not because I want to run after Him for the rest of my life on this earth.

The sweater I want for Christmas...

Love and Obedience

Not sure if anyone still reads my blog anymore...it's been awhile. Just wanted to say that so much has happened in my life this year, can't believe it's already December. I wanted to write about how much I love Jesus, yet again. I remember lying in my bed one night and praying (with fear and trembling) for God to sift me and refine me in any way He chooses in order for me to become more like His Son. This was a scary prayer to say the LEAST. Well, He has and He is. What I do know is that God allows things in our life to occur in order to let us be aware of our NEED for Him, our NEED to rely fully on Him for our needs to be met. He has been working this area out in my life through a blind faith and trust in Him-on a DAY to DAY basis, sometimes even an HOUR to HOUR basis. I would have it no other way as tough as it is at times. I know that God HAS to be of GREAT importance in our lives at all times, by this I mean thinking about Him, praying to Him, talking about Him, OBEYING Him-constantly. He is a jealous lover. He has helped me to realize that loving someone or something equals ACTION. Loving someone is not merely through words, I know someone loves me without them even having to say anything. Showing God love is through our ACTIVE obedience to Him, there is no other way. He says in His Word to love Him with ALL our heart, mind, and soul and THEN to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves (which for most of us is A LOT). It is the highest form of worship to Him, not just raising your hands, screaming and crying, and attending services (although all these things are good to do!), more so it is SHOWING our Creator that we comprehend what He has done for us through His death by obeying His commands and proving this with our lifestyles. Love truly equals action. I know and understand more and more each day how filthy and disgusting I am, I also know at the same time that I am forgiven and loved beyond my comprehension, I can't wait for the day that I get to see my beautiful Savior's Face and Eyes and Hands, there will be nothing better. Many days I see how fallen our world is and I simply do not want to be here, but I know that as long as the Lord has provided life to each individual on this earth, in this era, in the day in age, then we are ALL meant to be here for a specific purpose, and that is always to glorify His Son. I don't do everything right, I make mistakes each day, I hurt people, but I am trying to reach the goal my Savior has set before me, run this race the BEST way I can through His strength alone. I cannot tell you how PEACEFUL it is to OBEY Him even if you completely DON'T understand it, I have found that His peace that passes understanding is without a doubt the answer for TODAY-I aim to maintain it above all else, and know that when I don't have it, there is a reason. I am LOVING the adventure He has me on right now, I have never experienced so much peace and happiness amidst any storm I face than I have lately. I know that I am on the right path and I also know that if I start to go off (which I am guaranteed to do), I have a Daddy that will reach down and take me by the hand and lead me, what more could I ask for?