Catch Me if you can.

It's been really difficult being a Christian lately. Some days I just want to quit, go back to my old sinful life-truth be told :o). I feel like that a lot, but I know I never will. God wants me...bad. He wants MORE of me, MORE time, MORE thought, MORE study, MORE dialogue, and I'm scared to give it to Him. I'm scared of what WILL happen if I do, scared that my love for Him will grow SO much that I won't be able to handle it (but He never gives us more than we can handle right?). I personally know that when I take the TIME to pray a little longer, pick apart a chapter or verse in the Bible a little harder, He always gives me revelation, but w/more revelation comes more responsibility, and w/more responsibility-more is expected from you, you are expected to perform better, I think it's just that w/God-blowing my mind w/what He has in store for me and is preparing me for is expected, and I just don't know if I'm ready for that. God has me in a very particular position, a position that is in alot of ways-very isolating-socially at times, jobwise, schoolwise, and so on. There are things that I desire, things that I truly believe were spoken to me from God that aren't happening for whatever reason, so many questions, hundreds of questions that I have for Him right now! I remember that emotions and feelings are simply emotions and feelings that dip and surge like the waves in an ocean, but God is my Rock, my solid foundation, the pillar that IS me-inside me like a white heat, He never fails, never once STOPS reassuring me-faint as it may be at times. He is my Love-always will be, and I know that if I never hear His Voice again, if He never shows me His Face again, if I never again feel His cleansing Love pour over me like a drenching rain-my Love for Him will never change, my pursuit of Him will never change, b/c what He has done for me and to me up to this point in my life, this age, is forever worth the rest of my life's service to and for Him. God DOES hide-for whatever reason, it IS our job to search Him out, and no I don't believe He will ever be "caught" (or placed in a box for that matter!), but if I can, if I allow Him TIME enough in my everyday life for this pursuit, I know in my heart I may reach out many days while running full speed toward Him and maybe touch Him (and He will certainly touch me and us), and that's all I need to know.

A 14th century prayer.

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Christ on my right hand, Christ on my left hand,
Christ all around me, shield in the strife;
Christ in my sleeping, Christ in my sitting,
Christ in my rising, light of my life.

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

~St. Patrick's Breastplate

Overflow

In order to love others
you must first love yourself

In order to love yourself
you must first love the Author of love

To be loved by Him,
to receive His perfect love

Receive this love, know this love
be consumed by and crave this love;
through His Word
through intimacy with Him,
in prayer,
and worship

This love is deep, you have to go lower to go higher
This love is a mystery, you have to search it out

But if you seek Him with all your heart,
you will find Him-He promises,
for greater love is none than His

Once your cup is full-with His love,
it is guaranteed to overflow because His love for you
has no limits
it is only from this overflow that you will begin to really love others,
the way Jesus does,
not until then,
work on overflowing...daily.

~RLR

Good times :o)

Yesterday a bunch of us went to Busch Gardens and had a blast!!! Here is a pic of us on a rollercoaster called Apollo's Chariot-my hair looked like a red flame-ha ha!!!

Jessie, Me, Amanda, my bro Zach

My sis Tye, Jesus', and Jonathan

Jesus

"You are worthy to take the scroll

and to open it's seals,

because You were slain,

and with Your blood you purchased

men for God

from every tribe and language and

people and nation.

You have made them to be a kingdom

and priests to serve our God,

and they will reign on the earth."

~Revelation 5:9-10

Amen...

The Goodness.

Just wanted to let you know some awesome music and books I've discovered, first is Misty Edwards, all of her music is amazing to say the very least, she is listed to the right, she is a prophetic singer and truly anointed by our Father-I hardly have words, it is the BEST CD I have ever listened to, and was very hard to find.

I also found the book to the right by Joanna Weaver at Barnes and Noble one day, and I think we could all use a book like this, it is awesome and talks about how to find intimacy w/God even when you're super busy and ways to help detect if you are too busy, etc (just right for me). Just click both the pics to order either.

Just wanted to share those two things, I have another book I just ordered, I will post it here when I get it, it looks amazing.

Jesus' love is so sweet and tender, I just let it wash me all over, my mind, my body and soul.

"I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ~John 8:12

Please watch this.

http://www.ihop.org/Articles/1000024778/International_House_of/Ministries/onething/old_pages/Channels/Interview_with_Misty.aspx

All other ground is sinking sand.

If you've seen a mosaic before, then I want you to know that my mind feels like that right now, although it doesn't form a specific picture as some mosaics do. I feel as if there are so many influences in my life right now, but I just don't know which ones speak truth and which ones are false and it's really disturbing. I speak mainly of spiritual things, but there are others. Through it all (though) my Faith grows stronger and He-more assuring. Where once there was faith and then a slight tremor of doubt, there in it's place is now a daily solidifying Faith.

In the book Soul Revolution-John talks about how one day he was running on a track and he thought to himself, what if the whole God thing isn't tue, what if He really doesn't exist, doesn't hear us...he then thought, but what if God is like a human freindship-one that takes time and communication to develop, what if more things are revealed the closer you get. He decided at that point in his life to take a leap of Faith, he made a decision-to "jump in"-completely, to press hard into Jesus-like a freindship you VALUE, he says it's the best decision he ever made, but it was a DECISION.

I think that's alot about how the Christian faith and life works, it is a daily decision, and as Steve Ellis said, "the hardest thing about the Christian faith is the DAILY". I find myself constantly wanting to get ahead of God and go crazy for Him, but I have to daily remind myself that it's all a process, and all things and all the people involved in the things God has in mind for my life have to be ready too. I really like the post called "Seed and Bread" from Beth Moore's blog: http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/, she talks about this "impatience" for the things you want to do for God and how timing and enjoying the "now" are also very important.

Can I also just say that church has been AWESOME latley?!?! Our new series Rocks-literally, I am so excited to go this Sunday (actually saturday and sunday), check out our new series! http://www.gethope.net/welcome/series.html

"In Christ alone my hope is found He is my light, my strength, my song This Cornerstone, this solid ground Firm through the fiercest drought and storm What heights of love, what depths of peace When fears are stilled, when strivings cease My Comforter, my All in All Here in the love of Christ I stand"

Sarah Palin ROCKS!!!!!!!!

Oh My Goodness!!! You know how you can tell when something is a God thing? Well vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin is AMAZING!!! I cannot wait to see her and Mccain in office ( I am praying hard, and God answers prayers!), this in my opinion is not just a political battle, this is spiritual warfare, I believe in this election we are dealing w/good and evil-literally, I have never been more excited about a candidate until now!!! The awesome thing about Palin is that she is not just some political figure, she is REAL, her speech was AWESOME!!! Read it here: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13144.html

One thing seeps from Palin, and that is God-support for LIFE and support for the sanctity of marriage-two things that I deeply believe in! Go John and go Sarah, I am with you 100%!!!

I am terribly excited about this..................God is going to MOVE in a big way-soon :o)

Close your eyes and turn your speakers up.

This song describes how I feel lately...

Heart.

Today I developed a new "viewpoint". Frankly I am tired of how our society looks at outward appearances and judges accordingly, I try very hard not to do this, but I think we are all guilty of it in some form or another. So, this morning while at my favorite coffee shop of all time (where I now LIVE almost everyday b/c of school-check it-http://www.newworldcoffeehouse.com/), I decided to look at each individual person as a simple beating heart, seriously! a physical beating heart-I studied the heart in depth last semester and it was AMAZING-God is BRILLIANT. I know this sounds weird, but it worked, instead of noticing what other people were wearing first or how their hair was fixed or how they were acting, I simply recognized that they had a beating heart, that God allowed them to wake up one more day, that God gave them the gift of today for whatever reason. I love the verse that says "man looks at the outward appearance, but God weighs the heart"(1 Sam 16:7) and the one that says "above all else guard you hearts, for they are the wellspring of life"(Prov 4:23)-awesome. I have to remember that God doesn't see us as others see us, He doesn't see us as WE see us, He sees our hearts, our souls, our spirit, and for those who accept Him-His Spirit literally LIVES in us. I define the Holy Spirit as this-God breathing in you and through you every second of your life as a Christian, He is our GUIDE, He guides our steps, our decisions, everything (if we allow Him). I am currently learning to depend on His Spirit in all of my decisions, throughout my entire day, constant communion w/Him, it's awesome-nothing better. New things will be birthed from me b/c of the work He's doing in me, and God I love that You are FAITHFUL to complete what You've started. AMEN!

Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city

BELIEVE IT!

Old blog.

One of my old blogs-Faith Dialogues: http://faithdialogus.blogspot.com/ is back open, I know you all were REALLY worried about it :o) I was just looking at it today and I thought'"what a pretty little blog, I need to make it public again"(but won't be posting anything new in it)...so I did.

A pic of my FAVORITE Trini baby-Barbara

Peace and LOVE...

Waaaaaaaah....

I'm whining, mainly b/c I CAN :o). Sorry, I just have WAY too much going on, I need to BREATHE...ok, God is AWESOME, God is ALWAYS GOOD, I can TRUST God-definitely not my own brain sometimes...I wanted to write on commitment (or lack there of), but I don't have that much time, I just needed to vent (maybe to my computer if nobody reads this), I need an outlet...geez, I just finished my yoga class-thought it would relax me, but no, the brain was still going 500 miles an hour :o(. DANG IT!!! Ok I'm done-here's a good final thought:

"God wants nothing from us except our needs, and these furnish Him with room to display His bounty when He supplies them freely...Not what I have, but what I do not have, is the first point of contact between my soul and God."
~Charles H. Spurgeon

Rachel's blog: Season 3

It seems that for every season of my life, a new blog begins. I won't go into much detail as to why the other two are now private (and if you REALLY want to read them, let me know and I can invite you!), but just know that it's personal.



I wanted to talk about God's incredible LOVE. It's hard to explain how God wants to love you and how much He loves you until you get a little taste of it. I have personally found that the more TIME I spend with Him, just Him-no distractions, how He adds new dimensions of this love in my life. I find it mind-blowing that He wants a relationship with ME, He wants to know me. A friend told me one time as she was just getting to know God that a woman at church approached her and said, "you know Angela, God loves you." She replied, "yes, I know", and the lady said, "no Angela, He loves YOU, there was no one in the entire world like you, so He created you." I thought that was awesome! All of the crazy things that make you the way you are, your personality, your style, everything about you-God loves, that's why He created you-love it! It makes me SO happy and full of joy to know that I get to have more of Him everyday and get closer and closer to Him! I am complete knowing Jesus, but it makes my heart absolutely break for those who don't know Him, how much they're missing! Jesus is my Best Friend, there's nothing else in this world that can take His place or should!



The thing I've realized lately is that He wants to love you from DEEP inside yourself, from your soul, from the place inside you that may be holding onto scars from the past, scars that are so buried you may have forgotten they're there. The amazing thing about our Father is that once His Love starts to REALLY fill you, it begins to encompass ALL the buried hurt and scars and memories and purges you from it. A deep soul cleansing-no psychiatrist (human being) could ever do that kind of cleaning! And man does it hurt! It's amazing what starts to come out once you start letting Him wash you! God it's wonderful, You're wonderful! This is an odd way to explain it, but it's almost like a gut wrenching love, a love that is so intense, it almost feels like you'll explode-His love is Powerful!!!



A week and a half ago I did my first three day fast-a complete 72 hour water only fast, I told no one except a close friend and it was one of the best three days of my life-excruciating at times, but I have NEVER felt closer to God than then-I read an awesome book on fasting by Jentezen Franklin and decided on the three day from there. I also won't go into detail on the incredible things that happened during and after the fast (you should keep these b/w you and God), but I will definitely suggest doing a fast, they are Biblical, and this definitely won't be my last! My room-mate and I are planning on doing a 40 day Daniel fast soon, we are excited!



I will be posting a "book and CD of the month" to the right each month, two that I have fallen in love with and listen to and read (among many others) during that month, please check them out, they mean alot to me and I'm sure you'll love them too!



Love...