Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied,

'The one you feed.'

Rejection/Protection.

My room-mate and I were recently discussing "rejection". According to my pastor (and I agree!!!), God has to "hurt us" deeply in order to use us greatly. I believe that if you want to be used “greatly” for God, then you are going to have to be put through some stuff-allow Him to test all your “anxious thoughts”. When I asked God to sift me and mold me into whatever He chooses, I didn’t know how bad it was going to hurt, or how long it was going to take, and I was certainly surprised (and horrified) at things that have happened and will continue to happen along the way-like the people He will place in your life ONLY to be used as lessons and then remove them (not fun). In my opinion a lot of it just doesn’t seem to be fair (or even right!), as my heart had and had become entangled in many of these lessons-but He didn't ask for my opinion. I guess at the end of each day I HAVE to GIVE Him everything, that’s all I can do.

Now to get back to the rejection thing, here is a DIRECT verbatim excerpt from my very private journal (don’t tell anyone!):

2/12/09
~Angela and I discussed “rejection” this evening. In my opinion God uses “rejection” as PROTECTION, as in a situation where a guy may “reject” you, a friend, a job, an audition, a loan-all these things are God’s protection-His way of saying, “I’ve got something better for you, hold tight!” I expect nothing less from Him, He has our BEST interests in mind at all times-although He will allow you to go your own way (and choose not to obey Him), and maybe that way will “work”, but it wasn’t His BEST. I want God’s BEST for me, no settling-best husband, best job, best friends, best dog :o). Best doesn’t always mean "amazing in the world’s eyes"-best to God may be no husband, a job in Africa w/few friends, and a goat for a pet :o). In any case-I choose God’s best for me, I will wait on Him to bring it about, I will stand firm and continue to grow in Him each day.

Remember: Rejection often times means protection-don’t get it twisted.

I like this song in reference to all this-read the lyrics(I took it upon myself to change a few):

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to You

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where You are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into Your loving arms

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to HIM

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to You
But You just smile and take my hand
You've been there You understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where You are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into Your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to HIM

Now I'm just rollin' home into my Lover's arms (HALLELUJAH!!!)
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to HIM
Amen!!!

(Credit to the Rascal Flatts-Bless the Broken Road :o))

Funny :o)

I watched Horton Hears a Who over Christmas break w/my little sis and I thought this character-Katie was funny, I thought you all could use a smile :o) (she actually reminds me of my other little sis-Sheela-ha ha!)

Scattered.

How can I lift this deep resurfacing "burden" in my soul? God has "scattered" (Ezekiel 11:16-17, 34:12-16) me, and I am now just waiting it seems, to be gathered. The only thing I can truly rely on is God-great is His faithfulness, His mercies are new each morning, His love is unfailing and in His eyes I am a treasure-of high value and price, right? My flesh and satan say otherwise, they say you are unworthy, you are ugly, you have nothing to offer, you will never make it. Why do I feel as if God is this ever present Spirit-that doesn't actually speak-just shifts-nudges and mostly withdrawing? Why don't I remember that God is not JUST Spirit, that He actually and audibly spoke to people in the Bible and that these people are not just some fantasy superheroes, but were ordinary human beings, just like us. It seems that the more I bare my heart to my Love, the more He is silent. The key is an infallible trust-nothing good will happen for the kingdom in your life until He is your first love-a jealous God we have. It is easy to place human love (bound to disappoint as it does) before His love because it is tangible. I'm being stripped and sifted of EVERYthing that can (and does) come before Him-my flesh cries out in a frustration that changes day to day. Yet as my Lord and Love never relent-neither will I, as Job lay in an ash heap on the ground, there will I lie too-for as long as this perfecting Love has His way in my inmost being-so that I can truly cry out with my life and my body and soul and spirit that I love my neighbor because I love myself as Jesus loves me!

"I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen!" ~Revelation 2:2-5

I also love this verse in Ezekiel 34:26: God said,"I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing." We just need to get through these seasons :o) Amen.